"What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?" 
                                   -Ursula K. LeeeeGuin 

I feel the need to share with you the fact that I have several health disorders that are known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. As such, I cannot always do exactly what I want to do when I want to DO it, and this causes me a great deal of personal frustration. Since this condition manifests itself in many different aspects of my life, there are more times than not that a period of time will go by without my being able to update this website and for this I am deeply apologetic.  Please know that even though there may be days when I cannot be here, this site is never, EVER far away from my mind and heart and neither are YOU...

Ever since the day that I first put this web site up in the Internet, I've been wanting to share my thoughts with you regarding the above. Although I would love it if one day we would live on a planet where we would be considered to be a part of a whole (some would call it a one world) government, I am now and always WILL be an American citizen first and foremost. I am fiercely proud to be an American citizen, but I have to be completely honest with you and tell you that I would be an even PROUDER American citizen if I could see in my lifetime, an America that would come forward and declare that they no longer wish to use ANY violent means in order to achieve world peace, and take whatever non-violent steps to move toward doing what quite a few OTHER countries have done, which was to place the sanctity of human life above the need to keep and bear lethal weaponry.

Just in case you may be wondering whether I am a Rebulican or a Democrat, if you said that I'm a Democrat then yes you're right - I AM a Democrat and a liberal and extremely proud to BE these things, for like the news journalist, Mr. Water Cronkite, who I greatly admire, (he's an Independent, but a liberal nonetheless) I TOO truly believe in the very caring, human values that goes along with liberalism.

Just in case you may be wondering whether I am a "Clinton Lover" or not, SURPRISE! I am not, as I feel they are hypocrites.

Now I KNOW that I am not alone in my hopes and dreams for a safer and more non-violent planet, as  there have been many people who have proven their alliance by way of their OWN wonderful web sites as well as letters of encouragement. To THEM, I wish to now say "Thank you, my friends, for making me feel as if I AM making a difference. To anybody ELSE, I welcome you to my planet and hope that you will benefit from the experience of being here. 

Children are our greatest treasures and it is with THIS thought in mind that I've always had a PARTICULAR feeling of sadness whenever I think about the impact that all of this escalating violence  in our society is having upon our beautiful and innocent children today. After all, THEIR legacy is whatever WE have chosen to leave to them and it is OUR RESPONSIBILITY to pave the way for our next generation. Will we give them a world filled with violence, hate, confusion and no regard for other living things, or will we give them a world filled with peace, love, understanding and respect? it's entirely up to each and every ONE of us...

Anybody who knows me ALSO knows that I am strongly opposed to lethal weaponry  in our society.  There is a reason why I have come to feel this way, this being that in essence, I am a non-violent woman, who does not see the reason for ANY lethal weaponry in order for us to maintain a rational, yet free and healthy lifestyle. 

Aborting a human life without giving it a chance to survive??!!! oh DEAR...I have been struggling with my feelings regarding abortion for as long as I can remember and up until today have remained extremely ambivalent. <Sigh>...well it seems as if my ambivalent days have now come to an end because in my search for my own sense of what I view as morally right and morally wrong, I have now arrived at the pinnacle of what I truly consider to be a long and arduous journey into the deepest recesses of my innermost heart and soul. 

This hellish journey has lead me to step through a door that I feel so certain that I will not be stepping backwards into EVER AGAIN and by THIS statement I am simply saying that from this day forward, now and forever, I am choosing to share with anybody who cares to read my words, that regarding the intensely emotional issue of abortion, I am exercising my own personal opinion when I state totally and unequivically that to ME, abortion is a pure act of the taking of a human life, and no matter WHICH angle I twist and turn the "a" word around, it will always spell out the word M-U-R-D-E-R to me. 

As a woman, this will eternally be a difficult aspect of this issue for me to touch upon, but I want to be perfectly honest with you when I tell you that yes I DO realize that in SOME extenuating circumstances such as in the cases of rape, incest, severe, extreme deformity (such as the case where a baby would be born without a brain) or in situations where the mother's health would be in jeopardy, to expect that the mother would want to or should be expected to carry her baby to full-term seems like an impossibly, tormentingly, incredibly callous and selfish thing for ANYBODY to expect her to do and in these cases, it remains my belief that the decision to abort or give the child up for adoption should be up to the parent/s involved in such extremely heart-wrenching, circumstances. Regardless of the circumstances involved, my heart goes out to ANYBODY who should find themselves making these heart-wrenching decisions.

As far as the adoption process is concerned...now THAT'S another story in itself...why is it so expensive? why does it take so long? why can't they simply go through the proper background checks and then match a needy infant with a needy person\people? I guess this is just one of many, MANY aspects of our life that I simply do not understand at all.

Today (Sept. 12th, 2003) there has been an astonishing discovery made in England, that suggest that a baby in the womb is capable of a range of emotions. After seeing these images and reading the text, my feelings have just reached a much deeper level. 

With my fingers and mind still quivering from my thoughts on the PREVIOUS subject, I am now going to try and share with you ANOTHER subject that I have vacillated long and hard with as well. 

Today I have made my final stand, this being that as a person who is intrinsically non-violent, I do not advocate the use of the death penalty as a means of deterring crime. In FACT, I have now come to view it as nothing more than the state-sanctioning of the taking of a human life. 

There are many within my own social circle who disagree with my thoughts and feelings regarding this subject and from them I constantly hear, "An eye for an eye."  Well like I just said in my previous words to you, this issue has caused me a great deal of anguish, and it was only until very recently that I used to say the exact same thing.  And then I began doing some intense thinking and the more I thought about it the more I knew that I could not condone it. 

Since it is my opinion, that we are a humane and civilized society, what we need to concentrate on doing is to focus our efforts on building not only MORE prisons across our country but a more EFFICIENT as well as EFFECTIVE prison system.  Once these prisons are built, we need to make certain that they will be RUN as humanely and civilized as possible while at the same time, conforming to stricter guidelines that will serve as a deterrent to any person who is contemplating committing a criminal act. 

Here is some interesting information...Did you guys know that even though the beautiful country of Canada did away with capital punishment in 1976 there has not been an increase in their murder rate? VERY INTERESTING, to say the least. Are you ALSO aware that murder rates are generally at least three times lower in Canada than right here in my beloved United States of America? If you would like to read about this in detail, click on these words for the appropriate link.

I would please now like you to consider this fact...what would be more fitting to do to human beings who have just committed murder? place them on death row for about a million years at great cost to the rest of us before executing them via lethal injection? or place them in solitary confinement with very minimal pleasures at a lesser cost to the rest of us for the duration of their natural lives thereby causing them to be repeatedly HAUNTED by the evil that they have done.

I for one, have chosen the latter, as to ME, violence has always led to FURTHER violence. 

Consider this bumper sticker that I saw on a car: Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?

Whenever I see a dog or cat walking along the city streets by him/herself, my blood begins to boil, my eyes fill with tears and I become extremely upset. You see to ME, seeing what we humans consider a domesticated animal such as a dog or cat walking along a city street by his/herself is akin to my seeing a 3-year-old child walking along a city street by his/herself and the way "I" see it, it is completely unacceptable to my sense of rationality as I am of the opinion, that it is up to us as human beings to protect and care for our animal companions. 

I have witnessed far too many cats and dogs being injured and/or killed when for whatever reasons unknown to US, but certainly known to THEM (after ALL, they are not human beings, but animals) they decide that they want to dash across a busy intersection in search of something that has obviously caught their attention. 

To whoever may be reading these words, I IMPLORE you...please, PLEASE do NOT allow your beautiful, cherished dogs and cats to have the opportunity of wandering away from you if you can do ANYTHING to avoid it. Now I DO realize that you cannot be a 24 hour, 7 day a week animalsitter for them, just as you cannot be a round the clock babysitter when it comes to your children. However, if you truly love your precious animal as I honestly believe you do, there are many precautions that you can employ when it comes to watching out for your animal's safety and this is why I am now directing you to my LINKS page, where you can look for the category called ANIMAL RIGHTS, in order that you may be able to add to your storage of knowledge when it comes to caring for your beloved pet.

The other night on cable tv, my boyfriend Chris and I saw "Born on the Fourth of July."  Chris had seen it previously but this was my very first time.  Me being the kind of person that I am, I ended up viewing most of this movie through tear-filled eyes but I was extremely glad that I had seen it for it only served to make me despise the act of war even MORE. 

As a result of seeing this movie, I am now planning on adding Mr. Ron Kovic's autobiographical book that this above-named movie was based upon to my private home library, because you see, the man has since become somebody I deeply respect.

If you would like to read more about this movie in greater detail, please click on this link to the movie via the Internet Movie Data Base. Thank you.

My boyfriend Chris' parents, Chris and myself were part of one of the most AWESOME experiences of our entire lives, for on that day, we found ourselves standing in the presence of someone we consider to be a legendary artistic genius... 

For approximately an hour and a half, we joined many more people as we filed slowly past an incredible 70 ORIGINAL PAINTINGS by Vincent Van Gogh and ss long as I shall live I will never forget the look of pure awe on Chris' face as he caught sight of his favorite Van Gogh painting, which is a self-portrait of Van Gogh wearing a felt hat.

I'm TELLING you...just remembering the myriad of emotions that played within our minds as we did our very best to drink in every minute detail of the artist's single brushstrokes as well as his various uses of color, gives me goosebumps upon my goosebumps. 

The crowd was very orderly, we DID get to view the paintings up close and I will always carry within my soul the once-in-a-lifetime, completely exquisite feeling of being awarded the very great honor of being able to say "I saw them." 

It is all I can think about...dream about...worry about...this mind-numbing horror that has overtaken my America. 

I am so overwhelmingly exhausted by it all and I didn't even lift one finger at ground zero. 

If you are interested in reading my feelings regarding this tragedy in further detail, then please go to my News Page and also my Message Board. 

The reason I am directing you to these two pages is because here on My Rantings Page, I would like to leave you with these thoughts...As someone who was born and raised in New York City, I feel my former state's cut that much deeper. Above this computer, there is a wall of photographs in frames...as I gaze upon the World Trade Center photo, tears are welling up in my eyes.  I cry for the brave and scared people whose lives were lost on those planes...I cry for the brave and scared people who were lost and hurt in the WTC and in the Pentagon...I cry for the brave and hurting people who are crying for their beloved...I cry for the brave and tireless rescue workers who are falling off their feet while performing a living nightmare job that is much too unbearable to conceive of...but through it all...through it ALL...there you are right there beside me...as our hearts and minds connected with a flag-wave and a cheer...with your candles burning brightly and your faces full of strength you gave me reason to be proud that my America is here. 

We are ALL family, my brothers and my sisters. Thank you for your presence as we hold each other's hands.

May we walk the path of peace, love, understanding and respect together always.

Technology is racing faster than we can even imagine and you will now see what I am talking about when you view these incredible robots! 

I have always been completely fascinated by robots and these particular two are definitely THAT!  ok, ready? here they are:

AIBO HomePage
Honda Robot Top Page

Chris and I once again just viewed what I believe to be one of the most significant films ever made. 

After it was over, I turned to him and said, "Everybody on this entire planet should make it their business to see this film." WHY did I say this? because the message it imparts is one that we need to take heed of which is that we are ALL OF US human beings and when faced with our impending destruction from an alien life form, our immediate thoughts are, "We ALL OF US need to do whatever is necessary in order to save our races' existence." 

The following statement made by Bill Pullman (who played the President of the United States), was to me, the very essence of what the film was all about:

We shouldn't need an alien attack for us to become a united world.  Although it is my hope that we will not always have to rely upon the use of lethal weaponry in order to continue our existence, I loved this film because we all suddenly became people and not a certain race or color.

What a film!!!  See it...Digest it...Live it...

Please click here to read more about this fantastic film

My feelings regarding human beings' unfortunate mindset to choose violence by way of wars in order that they may secure a peaceful, harmonious way of existence remain the thorns on the stem of this frustrated flower. 

Before I wilt and leave my garden I want to see this mindset undergo a change. 

You and I possess the awesome power of obtaining a more peaceful world for ourselves. When I talk of "ourselves" I am not merely referring to you and I, but also to our future generations that are young and innocent and dependent upon us. So how will I do it? what will I use? my first choice of weapons will ALWAYS remain my heart and my soul and my ammunition will be my conscience, thoughts, words and deeds. 

If placed in a position where I must take immediate action, I have and I will use the least amount of violence that is possible, in order to stop the aggressing force.  If my action should result in the taking of the life of my aggressor, I am certain that I would be haunted by the death of this person until I the day that I would draw my OWN last breath.

I constantly anguish over the unbearable pain and suffering that many of my fellow brothers and sisters on this planet are forced to endure.  Every single day they wake up and fall asleep with the relentless feeling of being squeezed in a vise.  This particular vise that I am referring to right now is masquerading as their governments who are tightening the screws.  It is my wish to see these screws begin to loosen.  It is my wish to see them fall to the floor. People ask me in regard to the Iraqi President, Mr. Evil Personified, Mr. Saddam Hussein, "How can you expect to fight a Hitler mentality without our military going to war?" my reply is now and will always remain, "It is already BEEN done - in Denmark and Norway during World War II via nonviolent resistance."  If only more people in more countries would have tried this method of non-cooperation...if only, if only, if only, if only...<deep sigh>.

I believe it is vitally important that we take a few moments to read and absorb the thoughts of these six astronauts as they viewed our precious planet from far, far above us...

"Before I flew I was already aware of how small and vulnerable our planet is; but only when I saw it from space, in all its ineffable beauty and fragility, did I realise that humankind’s most urgent task is to cherish and preserve it for future generations."
Sigmund Jahn, German Democratic Republic, Soyuz 31, Aug 1978

"During the eight days I spent in space, I realised that mankind needs height primarily to better know our long-suffering Earth, to see what cannot be seen close up. Not just to love her beauty, but also to ensure that we do not bring even the slightest harm to the natural world. "
Pham Tuan, Vietnam, Soyuz 37, July 1980

"The first day or so we all pointed to our countries. The third or fourth day we were pointing to our continents. By the fifth day we were aware of only one Earth."
Sultan Bin Salman al-Saud, The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, Discovery 5, Jun 1985.

"From space I see myself as one more person among the millions and millions who loved, live, and will live on Earth. Inevitably, this makes one think about our existence and the way in which we should live to enjoy, to share, our short lives as fully as possible."
Rodolfo Neri-Vela, Mexico, Atlantis 2, Nov 1985.

"And then it struck me that we are all children of our Earth. It does not matter what country you look at. We are all Earth’s children, and we should treat her as our Mother."
Aleksandr Aleksandrov, USSR, Soyuz T-9, Jun 1983 and Soyuz TM-3, Jul 1987.

"As I looked down, I saw a large river meandering slowly along for miles, passing from one country to another without stopping. I also saw huge forests, extending across several borders. And I watched the extent of one ocean touch the shores of separate continents. Two words leaped to mind as I looked down on all this: commonality and interdependence. We are one world."
John-David Bartoe, USA, Challenger 8, July 1985.

I don't know how these statements have effected YOUR being, but these humbling and yet powerful words, have left ME feeling even MORE certain within myself that to strive for a less violent existence is the ONLY way in which our planet will survive. 

HITLER AND NON-VIOLENCE

As you read the article that I will link below, please keep in mind that several members of my Grandma Sarah's immediate family were killed by this evil monster and the mere typing of this vile, repulsive name is enough to cause my stomach to turn.

Do I think that non-violence could have stopped his rise to power? I cannot say for certain but I agree with the writer's sentiments.

Here is the article for YOUR consideration:

On War and Morality

CAN WE EVER ACHIEVE PEACE BETWEEN NATIONS?

I simply CAN not and WILL not ever stop believing that one day we WILL find a way to achieve this and it appears that Mr. Walter Fritz believes the very same way. 

If you would like to read his thoughts and unique ideas on the subject, here they are:

Peace between Nations

GENE SHARP

This man has brought forth examples of non-violent resistance in order to show us that it CAN be done:

A Brave Example for the World

A few weeks ago I was very pleased to see that my local public library finally utilized one of my ideas! lol well maybe this idea wasn't my own EXCLUSIVELY, but ever since our last election fiasco, I have always said, "Why don't we just go to touch screen voting, and end all of this ridiculous chads?" well it seems that SOMEONE might have heard me, because I recently had the fun of electing people this way. 

And it WAS a lot of fun! and it WASN'T difficult at all! and I wonder just how long it will take our country to change over.

While we're on the subject of voting, I do not believe that the United States of America's voting system in which we vote for a presidential candidate by using the Electoral College System is a fair and just one - no, not at all.  I would much rather see a voting system that elects a president via the popular vote, for then I would be satisfied that it was the individual person's vote that was being counted, like it SHOULD have been in the infamous, crazy presidential election year of 2000.

Biolustre is a revolutionary new hair care product that in my opinion, is everything the company claims it to be. Therefore, I am recommending it to anybody who is reading this, in the hope that you too, may be able to experience it.  Ever since I first saw the ad for it in Glamour magazine, I've been wanting to try it and try it I did. Here is my review of this product:

Yesterday morning I finally, finally got a chance to use Biolustre and I would like to share my review of it with you.

Before I go into it, however, I think it would be helpful if I let you know what my hair's history is.  I have naturally curly brown hair (past my shoulders) that I straighten every few months with a home no-lye straightening kit. I also color it black every 6 weeks so now you have an idea of what my hair's personality is like. 

I followed the directions that Leonard Buchanan gave to me when he replied to a post that I wrote on the Make-up Alley bulletin board. He is the COO of Biolustre, as some of you guys may or may not know. Anyway, he said to put 1/3 to 1/2 of the bottle on my hair and then blow dry it until it was as hard as a rock. He said wash it and condition it 3 or 4 times, and so ok, I was ready to do just that. 

Yes, my hair WAS as hard as a rock lol so then I took my beloved Pantene Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner bottles and with anticipation I went into the shower.  I shampooed and conditioned my hair 3 times and couldn't wait for the results of my labor. lol 

I waited until my hair air dried naturally as I didn't want to blow dry it or use the flat iron on it at this time since I felt that by doing that I would be infringing upon Biolustre's show.  Well once it dried, it was extremely soft and moisturized and I could literally feel that it was stronger as well. Although it was as wavy as it usually was after washing (now you know why I am dying to get my hair thermally reconditioned instead of doing these never-lasting more than a few weeks home straightening jobs) my ends that were once very broom-like were wonderfully smooth!  I then decided to flat iron my hair and people, once I did this, my hair was transformed into silk!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was lighter and softer and silker than it has EVER been after washing, blow drying and flat ironing without Biolustre and I was absoulutely thrilled as I preened in the mirror. :) I kept thinking to myself, "This is what TR must feel like" and I vowed that I would get a TR consultation just as soon as I my piggy bank allows me to do so. 

This morning I woke up and decided to color my hair, since I remembered that the Biolustre website had claimed that "clinical studies also showed that your hair color will last up to 6 times longer. So I colored my hair and I immediately noticed that the color took very well on my hair. After air-drying and then flat ironing my hair, it was even MORE soft and silky than yesterday!!!!!!! perhaps the color had something to do with this, but even if it did, the results were simply fabulous regardless. Ok...let's see...if I know my math, this means that instead of coloring my hair once every 6 weeks, I should be able to color it once approximately every 36 weeks!!!!!!!!! lol ok...we'll just have to SEE about THAT one... 

If you would like to read the opinion of an expert on this product, one of the most prominent hair stylists in the country, Vincent J has a glowing review about Biolustre on his website's message board. His word is good enough for ME!

For anybody who would like to discuss this product further, please feel free to e-mail me at your convenience. 

Well Leonard, you were right. 

Chris and I just finished watching the film, "The American President" which was broadcast on the Bravo television network. After the film's completion, we were both so pissed off at what occurred with the movie's credits, that I ran to my computer and sent Bravo an e-mail. Here it is now in order that I may share my anger and frustration with you. 

If anybody out there feels the way we do about this issue, may I suggest that you TOO, email the offending network.

To Whom it May Concern:

I just finished viewing your 3:30 P.M. broadcast of "The American President," which was by the way, an excellent film. Upon the film's conclusion, the credits were just beginning to appear and just as I was preparing to read them, much to my surprise as well as anger and frustration the credits became extremely small and then were suddenly flipped upon its side and brought down to the bottom of my screen while simultaneously another upcoming television show had suddenly become the main focus. I turned to my boyfriend and said, "What the heck happened to the movies' credits?! how completely disrespectful to the cast and to the audience!" I then decided to send you an email to express my dissatisfaction with your programming etiquette.

Do you mind explaining to me just what you believe would be the benefits behind continuing such a disgraceful pratice? I would really appreciate an email back from whoever cares to reply to me at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely yours,

Marilyn

A few nights before our big stargazing excursion Chris and I had taken a walk outside 
because we knew that we could see the Planet Mars with our very own naked eyes. 
The planet appeared very bright and we felt ourselves fill with awe. But human nature 
being what it is, we wanted it bigger as well as red! LOL.  In his inimitable way, Chris 
explained that very soon we would see it much better.

That very next Saturday evening Chris, his mom Ramona and myself drove away from the city lights taking along our brand new telescope and accessories, our trusty binoculars 
(which are so big and elongated, that they look just like a movie prop LOL) and three excited minds that were very intent on viewing the night sky as we have never viewed it before in our lives.

As we drove along the freeway, Ramona suddenly cried, "Look up there! isn't that Orion's Belt?! well we looked up there and sure enough there it was in all its glory and this was the beginning of an exciting experience.

We set up camp in a remote, dark area and before we had a chance to look through any of our equipment, our naked eyes began scanning the sky. We saw Mars which was much brighter (my Chris was so right) and we saw the white, wide band of stars which is our Milky Way Galaxy. To a city girl, VERY exciting!!!! I could feel that excitement rise within me.

We saw shooting stars (Ramona saw most of them), and we saw "the jewel of the sky," the Planet Saturn. Now we were DYING to look through the telescope and people, I tell you, I cried when I saw it -- the actual rings around the planet!!!!! this alone was worth the price of the telescope...imagine seeing this in front of your face???!!!! We must have each taken about 3 turns apiece...I perhaps took about 1 or 2 extra. Next through the telescope we saw the Planet Mars and it STILL wasn't red, but it had a peachy tint. How could I be disappointed? I was seeing the PLANET MARS!!! and this fact was much more important to me.

And then Chris saw the icing upon this night's cake, for it was he who first spotted the Andromeda Galaxy!!!!!! I don't know about you, but to us this was BREATHTAKING, making us gasp as we took it all in. For it is the most distant object that is visible to the naked eye. According to what Chris told us, the light that we were seeing originated 2 MILLION YEARS AGO!!!!!!!! the thought of this simply boggles the mind!!!!!!!!! not to mention the fact that it was another GALAXY and we saw it with I wonder what kind of life is within it...I wish that that life and our own could connect. Imagine the possibilities of a positive connection...Oh I hope that one day we will realize this wish. 

On our return trip we were exhausted and exhilarated. The stars in our eyes twinkled all the way home. 

The subject of just how far back the human race can really be tracked has always fascinated and amazed me and I just now finished reading some websites about Lucy, a 3.5 million year old female fossil who is named after the Beatles' song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

Lucy was discovered on November 30, 1974 by anthropologist Donald Johanson.

If you are as interested in Lucy as I have come to be, you might want to check out these books that have been written about her.  I have to buy these books from Amazon.com!!!

Lucy: The Beginnings of Humankind
From Lucy to Language

A great website about Lucy:

IHO (Institute of Human Origins)

Suddenly, I feel just as young as an infant...

Here is the story that I found:

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.  I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.  Attitude, after all, is everything. 

This year Thanksgiving will be a VERY exciting one for my family, since my cousin Daniel will be marching in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!!!!! Daniel will be blowing his  trumpet and will be proudly representing his hometown school, (Mayfield High) which is the only school from Las Cruces, New Mexico. His parents and sister will be flying into NYC in order to support their superstar.

You can be sure that my VCR will be going that day!!!!!